Snape In Tights: a Harry Potter Musical
by LivyOwyn
Summary: The magical world is turned upside down when an ancient spell takes in to affect after its 35 year dormancy. The strange and bizarre spell affects Harry in the middle of his summer holiday at the Dursley's.


SNAPE IN TIGHTS: A Harry Potter Musical

Chapter 1: The Mysteriously talented Dursley family.  
Harry sat alone in his room. He stared at the wall waiting for the summer holiday to end. Suddenly out of no where uncle Vernon came into Harry's room and flat out started to sing. ((to the Fandango commercial tune))  
_"Oh you stupid boy, why are you such a mess?  
You are worthless, why do sit about? You should be outsideeeeeeeee!_  
((does a little tap dance))  
((Harry stands up and starts...er...singing))  
_"Why are you singing? WOW I am singing too._  
((Aunt Petunia and Dudley come in as backup dancers/singers for Vernon))  
((Vernon starts singing again))  
_"BOY, I COMAND YOU TO GO OUTSIDEEEEE AND TRIM THE HEDGES!_  
Petuina and Dudley: _TRIM THE HEDGES!_  
((the three slam the door shut and leave Harry to his empty room

Harry sat back down on his bed and started thinking to himself about the new year at Hogwarts. He never went outside and trimmed the hedges.  
Harry had set his alarm for midnight, he would be turning 16. When the alarm woke him up he looked out his window and saw three owls.  
He slowly got up and went over to the window and unlocked it.  
The three owls were Pig, his best friend Ron Weasley's owl, Hedwig, his owl, and a barn owl, he knew this owl as one of the school's owl.

As the Owls approached his window Harry broke out in a solo.

((To the tune of Tale as Old as Time))

_"Somewhere far beyond there is some one who loves me! _

_Weather it be Mrs. Weasley or Hermione, I do not know!_

_But some where out there far beyond the clouds I know that I am wanted, needed, and looooved!_

_But for now I'll wait till I'm rescued from this horrid place by... Fred and Gorge in a flying car, or Remus Lupin, Alastor Moody and Tonks! For now I'll wait and see when they come for...ME!"_

The three owls landed on Harry's window sill as he finished his Bizare song. As usual Pig dropped his package and went ballistic. But the other two, one being his own Hedwig, and the other being a gray tawny from school it brought Harry his B-day present from Hagrid and his school letter for next term. this year he was one owl short, he knew all along that he would be due to the fact the at Sirius _"died" _last year. With that thought in his head Harry broke out in song again...

((to the tune of Somewhere over the Rainbow))

_"Somewhere under the veil Sirius lives, No one wants to admit this fact to me, because of She he is gone,_

_SOMEwhere under the veil Sirius lives, someday I'll wish upon a star and he'll be back right next to ME! _

_Some where under the veil Sirius Lives, Oh why oh why can't you come back to ME!_

_This is starting to get really creepy!"_ He slowly untied all the packages from all of the owls.  
The next morning at breakfast They were all at it again. But this time it was really really Creepy...

((To the tune of Alice and wonderland's "Happy Un-Birthday")) as Harry walked through the kitchen door A.P., U.V. and Dudley sang...

_"Haaaappy Happy Birthday to you!"  
(H) "TO me!"  
(P.V.D.) TO you TO you!  
(P) YOur Late Your late YOur late no time to cheer your late Dear!  
(H) You all are possessed by some evil but hilarious DEAMONS!  
(V) ((to the tune of the Rabbits "im late" song)) Oh would you look at the clock I'm Late, I'm late, no time for hello, good bye, I'm Late, Im late Im late, Im late for a very IMPORTANT DATE!_

and with that he left.

Through out the rest of the day Harry watched as Aunt Petunia and Dudley sung and at one time did a bit of the Nutcracker. To escape this strange and bizarre new behavior of theirs he took to roaming the streets. Out there he felt like he was free and could do what ever he wanted. (But since this is a Musical he has to sing about it.)  
_((To the tune of "can you feel the love tonight" from the Lion King))  
"I can feel the Freeeeedom in the air tonight! How can i escape this evil singing! Will i ever speak normal agaiiin? Where the Heck did...((Sound of a record being stopped))_"Harry..." said Ron Weasley, Harry's best friend, "What the Bloody Hell are you on about? Singing and dancing about like that?" "Oh thank God Ron, I thought it would never end." "Wha' happened? Did Malfoy jinx you, oh I'll blow his bloody ferret head off if he did." "no no no Ron I think we are stuck in some strange Cosmic world." POP suddenly Cosmo from the Fairly Oddparents cartoon appeared. "Did some one say Cosmo? Cause THAT's MEEE!" "WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?" "I told you already I'm Cosmo the Fairy Godparent. See the wings and Floaty crowny thing." POP Wanda appeared. "Cosmo this is the wrong story. We are in the one called "The Fairly Oddparents" "But Wanda this is named "Harrly Oddpotterents" See." Said Cosmo as he poofed a script to himself. "Cosmo that says "Snape in Tights: a Harry Potter Musical" "Oh... well it isn't my fault I can't read!" said Cosmo hiding behind a cloud of green smoke. "Pay no attention to the fairy behind the smoke!" "Sorry for the mistake!" said Wanda as she poofed Cosmo and herself gone. "What the Bloody Hell was that all about!" "I don't know. But it explains allot." Said Harry "What the BLODDY BLAZING HELL did that explain?" said Ron extremely confused. "Well...ER... that thing with the pink hair said this was a musical. So that is why everyone is singing and dancing." said Harry " Oh...Well anyways my dad and I were on our way to pick you up and take you to our house, but when we got here my dad got all excited and ran off somewhere."

_((Ron and Harry to the tune of "Where are you Christmas"))  
(R) Where are you Daaad Why can't i find you why did you RUN AWaaaaaaaayyy? _

_This world is different and I will not be able to find my wayyyyy!"  
(H) Where are yooou Mr. Weasley? Why can't we find you? We really need your help to get out of here!" do do do do do ((Arthur comes in)) "Here I am Ronald, I'm sorry I ran away! But I'm here now, and Why are we all sin-ging? This is really weird!  
(R&H) "My (Your) dad is here now so we can leave now!"  
(H) I'll get my stuff!  
(R) Then we can leave and return to the ((Harry joins in)) BUUUURRRRROWWWWWW!" ((Song fades out))_ "Okay...what... is going on?" Asked Mr. Weasley out of breath. "Well...er... dad you see this little...er...thing with pink hair, wings, and a little floty crowny thing, told us that we are in a musical." "Oh... that happens to the magical world every 30 years or so." "Oh..." said Ron and Harry with weird expressions on their faces. "Don't worry it will all pass in a month or two depending on which house Jupiter is in or something of that sorts. I never did get divination." Said Mr. Weasley. "Dad you mean to tell me that I am stuck singing like a bloody canary for a month or two because the magical world is soooooo bloody weird!" "Why did none of the teachers mention this to us before we left school? that was the least they could do to warn us." "well taking into account the way you left last term I wouldn't blame them for forgetting. Well now off home then."

Once the three had reached the Burrow Ron yelled at his father from behind Harry "DAD! ARE WE INFACT SURE THAT THIS MUSICAL WILL STOP?" "Yes Ron, Why?" "because I feel another song coming on."


End file.
